Do you feel loved when someone offers to take you out for a coffee? Or what about if they clean your house? Maybe if they straight out let you know that they love you? Knowing someone’s love language allows us the secret to making the people we care about know that we love them. What about your kids? How do they express and receive love?
As we head into the holidays and time with our families, consider how you can let your children know how you feel about them. If your child responds to words of affirmation, actions will not speak louder than words. Just by hearing the words ‘I love you’ can instantly make them feel loved. The words of affirmation child loves to be complimented and to hear that they are doing a good job and how. Maybe write them a note and let them know that you love them and what it is that you love about them.
A quality time person feels loved when they have your undivided attention. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like sitting down with them and asking them how they are. You may like to consider taking your child/ren out for a milkshake or baby chino, just you and them, or setting aside a time when they can choose the activity. It doesn’t have to cost a thing, even a walk or a trip to the park. Either way it’s about saying I’m making time to for you.
Perhaps your child responds well to receiving gifts. This does not necessarily mean that you need to be continually buying them things to let them know that you love them. This child loves the thoughtfulness and care behind a gift, so it may be picking a flower for them or making them something simple such as a card or scrap book of memories. Even though it may drive you crazy at times, let your child keep mementos from special occasions like napkins or stones. Whatever it may be, it’s simply something that says I was thinking about you.
If your child is an acts of service person then hopefully they will recognise your love for them every day in all that you do for them! But acts of service does not necessarily mean you have to do everything for them. Make your acts of service personal to this child. Perhaps cooking their favourite meal just for them or help them out with their assigned chore. You might like to work on building something together. This child feels loved when you take the time to do something as an act of love specifically for them.
To the child who experiences love through physical touch it’s pretty straightforward – nothing says I love you like cuddles, kisses, back rubs or holding their hand. But what about as your child becomes a teenager and suddenly your kisses and hugs seem unwanted or awkward to them? Especially in public! Because this child still experiences love by physical touch it’s important not to stop doing these things, but instead keep it age appropriate. When you are talking to your child sit next to them, maybe put your arm around them or rub them on the back. Physical presence is vital for this child.
To find out more about the 5 love languages, or to take the quiz to find out what your child’s love language is go to http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Ring a bell, a wind chime, or anything else that creates a long trailing sound. Ask each child to listen, and silently raise their hand when they can no longer hear the sound. After the ringing ends, ask the children to continue listening to any other sounds they can hear for the next minute. When the minute ends, go around the room asking everyone to tell you what sounds they heard.
Reach Out Worry Time
Helps control anxiety by scheduling worry so that it is confined to a specific time each day. (Free)
Includes strategies to relax and develop more helpful ways of thinking. (Free)
Includes self-care notices, gratitude and a relaxation centre (free).
Promotes good self-esteem and positive communication between young people.
Assists teenagers to develop the skills needed to overcome a bully.
Assists teenagers to develop skills needed to make and keep a friend.
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